I often wonder
What will happen if you leave me.
I wonder how much it will hurt
And how much time it will take
For the pain to stop.
I wonder if you’ll come back
Or if you’ll be a stranger
Ten years down the line.
But sometimes I wonder
About the girl after me.
The woman who will take my place
In your arms after I am gone
And the smell of my perfume
Has long left your sheets.
And I wonder what you will say to her.
Will you tell her about the girl before me
And how she broke your heart?
Will you tell her how you did the same to me?
Will she hear about the cookies I would bake
Or the songs I would sing for your ears only?
Will you tell her that I had beautiful eyes
And how often you saw them cry?
Will you mention how good it was with me
Hair-grabbing-lip-biting-can’t-get-enough?
Will she hear about how we’d lay together after,
My head on your chest, counting your heartbeats?
Will she feel sorry for me when you tell her
About my life and my loneliness?
Will she worry that the sympathy in your voice
Could almost be mistaken for love?
And most of all I wonder if you will tell her
Why despite all of this you couldn’t find it in you
To love a girl who didn’t wear her heart on her sleeve
But handed it to you on a silver platter.
I wonder a lot about the girl after me.
I wonder if you’ll call me your ex
When you wouldn’t call me your girlfriend.
I wonder if you’ll secretly think
I was more kind or more talented.
I wonder if she’ll give you whatever it was
That I couldn’t give.
And I wonder about you too.
I wonder if you’ll regret losing me.
I wonder if you’ll wish you’d stayed.
I wonder how long after
The smell of my perfume has left your sheets
Will it take for the memory of me
To leave your mind.
And if we meet again in ten years time,
I wonder what you will say.
The Invisible Poet 